


Trustworthy or Traitor

by geekglassesgirl



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Begging, Bloodbending (Avatar), Courage, Episode: s03e12 The Western Air Temple, Forgiveness, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Minor Aang/Katara, Monsters, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Other, PTSD, Pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Western Air Temple, Zuko Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2020-03-22 13:16:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18990469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekglassesgirl/pseuds/geekglassesgirl
Summary: I do not own Avatar the last airbender. Follows the idea the gang accepted Zuko as a prisoner in the Western Air Temple.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: What Now?

"If you won't accept me as a friend...then maybe you'll take me as a prisoner." Zuko pleads as he lowers to his knees and raises his hands, offering for them to be bound.  
Katara in one quick motion-water whips at him, tossing him across the ground where the water freezes to form solid cuffs around his wrists.  
"Gladly!" Katara announces confidently.  
"Katara!? What are you doing?" Sokka asks with panic and uncertainty showing in his voice. His eyes flicking between the firebender and his sister.  
The others also looking at Katara, shocked by her impulsive decision.  
"This is probably just another trap!" Sokka adds.  
"It's not I promise!" Zuko says finally speaking up. Everyone only glares at him.  
"Maybe your right Sokka, but I have a feeling." Katara defends herself.  
"Fine." Sokka relents, knowing when not to argue with his sister.  
Aang finally pipes in, his eyes lingering on Zuko. His hands bound in ice shackles which were quickly melting in the heat.  
"Hey, guys, what's the plan here?" he questions. His own concerns still formulating in his mind.  
Sokka sighs "Is there just, is there a place we can put him while we figure some stuff out?" Sokka asks Aang. Just as unsure of himself as the others.  
"You mean like a prison cell? No. Air nomades didn't practice those forms of rehabilitation..." Aang explains. His culture typically one of peace and respect.  
Toph realizing they were not getting anywhere fast enough, tries to be helpful. "I can make something work.." she announces with a sneaky grin on her face as she simultaneously stomped and secured Zuko's hands in earth-the ice having melted.  
Silence hangs for a moment while everyone tries to figure out what Toph is suggesting. She finally breaks the silence and with authority gives everyone instructions. "Twinkle Toes you come with me...Sweetie and Snoozels you follow us with Sparky in a minute..." everyone nods gladly to have someone else making the decisions for them.  
Toph pulls Aang's arm and starts to lead him onto the sections of the temple.  
"Aang-are we really going to do this?" she questions finally showing her own doubts.  
Aang hesitates. "I guess so. He did offer himself as a prisoner?."  
"You don't seem so sure..." Toph adds. Aang becomes frustrated. Everyone is constantly looking to him for decisions!  
"OF COURSE NOT! I'VE NEVER TAKEN ANYONE PRISONER BEFORE!?"  
The two stop walking for a moment and Aang calms down in the silence.  
"Well if it helps, he was telling the truth." Toph tells him.  
"Really?" Aang nods.  
"This room empty?" Toph asks Aang, pointing inside but facing away from the door.  
"Yeah, it used to be used as a silent meditation room..." Aang informs proudly of his heritage.  
Zuko is lead by Katara and Sokka. Toph nods and Sokka grabs Zuko's arm leading him and then pushing him forward.  
"Against the wall." He demands as Zuko struggles to regain his composure. Even so, he complies and the earth around his wrists falls and instead, they are pulled to his side and bound to the wall. Before he can argue or question anything, a wall grows in the doorway.

Chapter 2: Zuko's Captivity

It's an act of desperation. They need to accept me. I need to do this. So I raise my hands in surrender. But even so, I'm honestly surprised when Katara takes me up on it, as well does the rest of the group.  
The first thing I notice is the ring and scrape of ice forming around my wrists. Then I feel the sting of the cold. I'm confused and out of it. When I finally zone back in I realize they are talking in a group...it seems like they are trying to get a hold of what's going on. When I hear Sokka purpose my actions all part of an elaborate trap, I speak up.  
"I swear it isn't," I say again. I only get sour looks. After a couple of minutes of bickering and silence Toph, the young but powerful Earthbender seems to take charge.  
The next thing I know is the ice around my hands is gone and replaced with rock, bounding my hands together even tighter. Then the water tribe siblings come and get me off the ground, and lead me to follow the Avatar and Toph into the Air Temple's many twists and turns.  
Neither of them speaks to me, and I don't question anything in return. At one point I hear the Avatar yell out but his words are incoherent, echoing off the many walls. Even so, I sense the rush creep into Katara and Sokka.  
Arriving in the middle of a conversation between Toph and the Avatar, I'm pushed into a small room. There aren't any windows or even a door and I question how they are going to keep me, prisoner, here.  
I hear a demand to go against the wall and still slightly shocked I comply. Then earth drops from my wrists and then grows out again, hugging my hands to the wall. Before I can even say anything the empty doorway grows into its own wall. Sealing me into a dark bare room.  
After a few moments I am able to calm down and process what just happened, it seems like a weird dream. Thinking to myself, I ask what happens now? They have every right not to trust me but somehow I was still hoping they would. In the dark, unable to fire bend with my hands, I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my head down on them.  
All I can do is sit and wait I guess. But sitting and waiting also means thinking. Thinking about everything. What I'm doing and what I've done. And about my uncle. My uncle...I wonder where he is and what he is doing.. If he will ever forgive me. So many questions are forced through me I actually feel tears form in my eyes. Then they fall down my face. The next thing I know for certain is I'm crying locked in a cell wondering if anybody will ever forgive me.

Chapter 3: Points and Problems

A strange tension has built up around everyone at the arrival of their guest. Walking back out to the main courtyard, leaving Zuko confined in his cell-everybody seems afraid to ask the question they are all wondering.  
Sokka is the one who dares to ask, "What do we do now Aang?" The boy asks directing his concern to the Avatar. Aang turns around with a gust of wind radiating off him as he does so.  
"What?! Why are you asking Me? Katara is the one who decided to take him, prisoner! Why am I supposed to know all the answers?" Exhausted and worn out Aang falls to the ground holding his head up in his hands.  
"It's not that it's all up to you Aang-but you are the Avatar, and we need to plan how we can defeat the Firelord. That includes figuring out what to do with Zuko. At least this way he's not chasing us around still trying to capture you!" Katara lectures, the last sentence raising heat into her cheeks as she feels all the anger towards the fire Prince again.  
Toph raises a finger to but in, "Let's not forget about you learning fire bending. Or Zuko's offer..." she leads off.  
"What offer?" Sokka questions genuinely confused. Seeming to have forgotten the whole conversation that happened less than twenty minutes ago.  
Toph answers before anyone else. "To teach Aang fire bending Sokka. We're talking about who in the world we can get to do the job and he just appears and offers! That has to mean something!"  
"I am not having Zuko as my teacher!" Aang declares authoritatively. Sokka agrees, "Your damn right your not buddy!"  
Katara feeling victorious for having avoided the whole conversation snidely puts in.."Well, I guess that's settled."  
"Are you Kidding Me! Aang NEEDS a firebending teacher and one turns up on a silver platter and you won't even consider it?"  
"You weren't there when he attacked our water tribe, or burned down Kyoshi island or attacked Aang at the fire temple!" Katara and Sokka argue in intervals.  
"Look I get it. You all got your feelings hurt. Honestly, I have my own beef with the guy. But I'm just saying I don't think we should let our hurt feelings get in the way." Toph explains.  
"Well I don't trust him," Katara says simply covering her view in the matter. "I say we just leave him in there for a while until we can figure some stuff out." She adds.  
"Speaking of which, you think he had a camp or something? Cause if there's stuff lying around somewhere we wouldn't want anyone to see. Or we could go see if there's anybody else already there..." Sokka speaks plainly, all business. Not usual for him but these were..different circumstances.  
"You're right Sokka, why don't you and Toph head up around the temple and see if you find anything. Me and Aang should work on Waterbending before dinner.." Katara suggests looking motherly at them all.  
Sokka and Toph head off, hitting each other with jokes and burns along the way. Soon their voices fade out and that's when Katara speaks to Aang privately.  
"I know you don't like this whole 'taking prisoners' thing Aang, but you have to understand it's better if he's here where we can keep an eye on him." She defends her earlier impulsiveness.  
"I get it Katara," Aang says with his gooey and flirty smile. "Honestly I have a feeling about something too. I'm just not sure what it is yet." The boy adds.  
He stares thoughtfully at the ground when he is playfully splashed with water.  
"Are we training or Not?" Katara asks in a fighting position, an excited look on her face.  
Aang doesn't even respond-the two just start dooling

Chapter 4: Dinner and dual swords

Hiking up through the air temples grassy terrain is easy for Toph. Her earth bending doing her well as always as she listens to the ground with her feet. What holds her back is when a low lying branch of a tree swings back in her face after Sokka lets it go. Walking on forward instead of holding the bent branch back for the blind earthbender.  
"Ow!" She screams a few feet behind Sokka and as he turns around rock forms beneath him launching him into the air. His shout ending only when he lands hard on his butt.  
"What was that for Toph?" He asks ignorant of the branch incident.  
"For hitting me in the face with a stick!" She answers walking around him with a satisfied smile on her face.  
The boy starts to argue but just produces a line stuttered words. Failing to come up with an actual come back for once. Standing up and catching up with Toph he asks her "Are you seeing anything yet?"  
"Yes, boomerang boy. I've been feeling out this one spot ahead for a bit. Seems like the only thing it could be is a camp. There isn't anyone else around though." She answers confidently in her navigating abilities once again after the tree incident.  
The two soon come upon what must be Zuko's camp set up, the fire nation fabric hung amongst the trees for shelter a dead give away.  
"Yeah, this is it. Okay, let's just pack it all up and get out of here. We'll look at it closer with the others later." Sokka reports, starting to collect the scattered things in the camp.  
He doesn't notice Toph isn't actually helping until he goes to take down the tarp. It's high up and he realizes he needs another pair of hands.  
"Hey, Toph come help me with this thing for a minute?" He requests. But instead of her appearing by his side to help the request is met with silence.  
Letting go of the tarp and turning around, Sokka sees Toph fiddling with a couple of dual Swords. "Toph be careful!" He cries to the blind earthbender rushing over to take the weapons from her. Afraid she might hurt herself unable to see the sharp edges.  
"Relax Sokka I can sense them with my metal bending." Toph lectures him turning away and blocking him from running towards her any more with a rock wall.  
Sokka dazed and rubbing his head, slightly nods. "Boy hanging around Toph is dangerous" he reminds himself.  
"Okay fine. Whatever. Just help me with this so we can get out of here. I don't want to be here if back up or anyone else shows up."  
"Relax I'd see anyone before they'd show up. But fine let's finish up here. I wanted to give Twinkle-Toes a "lesson" before dark today." Toph says with her evil smile.  
All in all, Zuko only had a bag of what Sokka guessed was supplies, the swords, and the tarp. That was the most difficult thing to carry down, Sokka having done a poor job of folding it up.  
They arrived back just as the smell of dinner came to Sokka's nose, causing him to run down to the pot of cooking rice and dropping the tarp onto the ground lazily.  
Toph follows behind him and breaks the silence amongst the group.  
"So any more thoughts on Zuko?" She asks fully expecting an answer. But no one pays her or her question any attention as Katara motions for her to sit and eat.  
It would have to be discussed after lunch.

Chapter 5: Silenced by Stones

My wrists ache and burn from the rock holding them in place. I've pulled myself together some and by that I mean I've stopped crying. I remind myself that I have to go through with it. Whatever it takes for them to let me join their group. To help end this war, however, it isn't going exactly to plan.  
I don't know why I thought they would just accept me. Believe me, when they had so many mistakes of mine to throw back in my face.  
"This is probably just another trap" they had said. It saddens me that the only thing they connect me with is my anger and attacks. That's not who I want to be anymore. Who I'm trying not to be.  
It's dark in My tiny little room. ~cell~ I correct, even though the word depresses me. There isn't any light coming in from anywhere and I momentarily panic at the thought that I might suffocate. Run out of air. Then I consider if that's apart of locking me up. Fire burns oxygen and if I try to fire bend I'll burn up what breathable air I have.  
I remember the anger in Katara's eyes. How prepared she was to make me vulnerable.  
She did a good job.  
I question how long it's been. Five minutes? An hour? A day? Having gone into my own mind in thought I've lost my concept of time.  
As if trying to tell me something my stomach growls. I'm hungry. I haven't eaten anything decent since I left the palace, having been nauseous with anxiety. And now my bag and all my stuff is still at my campsite. MY CAMPSITE! I remember realizing I should have tried to say something. They probably figured out I had one somewhere but they wouldn't know where it is. "My swords are there..." I think worried.  
But the pang of emptiness in my stomach pulls me back out of my thoughts. How could I be so worried about my campsite when I don't even know what's going to happen to me!?  
I strain A bit against the rock restraints but only further hurt my wrists. They could leave me in here like this for who knows how long.  
I wish someone would just come back and talk to me. I can't handle being left with this uncertainty and I want to explain myself again. I need to convince them I've changed sides. For good this time. But I still may never get forgiveness.  
I close my eyes trying to slow down my racing thoughts. Again I lean forward so my forehead sits on top of my knees. It isn't till now that I realize how tired I am and I let sleep overtakes me

Chapter 6: Innocence within an Iceberg

Silence haunts the group as they eat dinner.  
When Toph finishes and puts her bowl down, she crosses her arms and doesn't avoid the topic any longer.  
"Basically the way I see it is, Sparky wants to help. And yet no one wants to even talk about it?"  
"It's not that simple Toph, I know you said he's telling the truth, but what about the things he's not telling us! What about all those times he's tried to fool us before? We just can't trust him." Katara lashes out with more anger then she wanted. "Sorry, Toph. We do need to talk about it. But right now I'm more concerned with what to do with him."  
"Yeah" Aang answered, "speaking of which, Toph you want to come with me to give him something to eat?"  
"I'll go Aang, I don't want him trying anything!" Sokka volunteers.  
"No wait" Katara stops them as they start to get up. "Let's look through his stuff first. You guys sure there wasn't anyone else at his campsite?"  
"We're sure Katara. But sure. Fine, I'll get his bag and we can see what he brought with him."  
"No Sokka the food will get cold. Why don't you two go on and bring him dinner, and Katara and I will search his stuff?" Aang suggested and this time Sokka and Toph hurried away with the food before Katra could call them back again.  
"Do you really care if his food is cold? He's a firebender! He can warm it up!" Katara asks as she grabs Zuko's bag ripping it open.  
"Ooohhh...right..." Aang drifts off noticing Katara's determination to find something incriminating in Zuko's things.  
"Katara what exactly are you looking for?" He asks as he stands up and starts collecting the things fallen on the ground as she tosses them out of the bag.  
"Something that will tell us what he's planning. I don't trust him Aang, and again I'm sorry I was so spontaneous before. But trust me it's better if we have him locked up while we figure out what our next move is." Katara defends but it seems like its less for Aang and more for herself. Trying to ease the feeling of what might be guilt or pity as she examines a framed portrait of the firebender's uncle.  
Aang piles all of the random belongings next to the bag and notices the picture in Katara hands.  
"Do you think Zuko knows where his Uncle is?" Aang asks with enthusiasm. The water tribe girl looks at the Avatars face and his bright eyes as he wonders in thought. Part of him is still that boy she found in an iceberg. She sighs, hopefully, that will never go away.  
Katara gains a better mood looking at her friend as he smiles goofily.  
"Tomorrow we can probably ask him after everyone is rested. I'd like to have a look around where his campsite is too." She explains now more relaxed.  
The two fall into each other's gaze until a scream erupts from within the Air Temple. Katara takes off and Aang starts to follow.  
But first, he grabs the picture of Iroh, figuring it might be nice for Zuko to have.  
"Come on Aang!" Katara calls where she realizes he isn't right behind her, urgency in her voice.  
Another shout echos from the walls and this time they both rush off towards its source.

Chapter 7: Screams from the Scarred

My stomach grumbles and sweat pours down my forehead. The air feels heavy and hot, I'm exerting energy to just breathing and the muscles in my arms strain. When the wall across from me suddenly falls, I look up-distraught in my eyes. The anger I have been trying so hard to control is boiling over, and my hatred for myself rises.  
"Okay Zuko, we got some dinner for you, but don't think of trying anything!" the Waterbender's brother sneers and waves his sword around, but his tone is tired and bored. Like he is already over this setup. But I'm the one who's confined. The one who is putting myself at their mercy and begging to be accepted and forgiven, knowing fully well I may never be given that.  
My arms are released and I fall onto my hands, stretching my sore muscles. A bowl is held in front of me and I take a deep breath before accepting it and letting out a small "Thanks."  
I feel the glare of the non-bender as I eat and look up to meet his gaze, the Earthbender standing with her arms crossed and her mouth straight. Noticing that I'm looking at him, the boy makes a high laugh and a snort.  
"What's so funny?" I ask annoyance in my throat, hoarse from dehydration.  
"Nothing just, for months we've been on the run from you, and now look at this! I can't help but laugh at turnabout! Like you and your family are all so evil and power-hungry! But now look where it's gotten you! Nowhere but here-by yourself, I just feel like this might be karma." The other boy grins and the girl to his side releases a small huff from her mouth, the closest I've ever seen her come to laughing and reminds me of Azula's snarl.  
My anger snaps.  
My father is laughing in front of me, thirteen-year-old me on my knees begging him for mercy. Him disregarding my existence for anything but inconvenient. How he said so many times that I was lucky to be born. Azula born lucky. I'm weak and on my knees in front of my father, as he towers over me and starts to strike his hand downward, the flame burning into my skin as he scarred me as a traitor of my nation. The moment I should have known I meant nothing to the man who was supposed to love and accept me. How all I cared about was regaining a place next to him. But I know now, and so I don't stay still on my knees. Instead, I rise and blast heat from my fist, strong and full of anger. I release the heat in my face onto the man standing in front of me. Determined to prove my strength.  
But it isn't my father, I am not thirteen and I am not who I used to be. At least that was what I wanted to believe, wanted them to believe. But as I hear a scream from the Avatar's friend as he ducks for cover and the Earthbender shields them both from my flame, I see the gifted child my father praised. The sister who taunted and tormented me. Manipulated me all my life, and to betray my uncle.  
"Zuko what's wrong!" she shouts, trying to calm me down. No, it's a trap. It always is. Fallen to the ground again, I send a wave of heat from my fingers and hear a scream of pain. The scream that echoed from me as I felt the burn on my face in that Agni Ki all those years ago. But this time the fear in my eyes is from the realization of what I just did, the girl on the ground across from me clutching her scorched feet, pain and anger in her face.  
"You burned my feet!"  
And I might have sealed my fate.

Chapter 8: Anger and Fear

"You burned my feet!" Toph shouts in disbelief after a loud scream following Sokka's as he ducked to the side. Shocked at what just happened, still against the far wall of the cell door, her feet, her way of seeing the world, hurt by the person she was trying to trust.  
The firebender breaks out of his daze and realizes his mistake. Immediately trying to explain himself, and to help the hurt earthbender, but is stopped by an angry Sokka and his sword.  
"I'm sorry! It was an accident, please!" The Zuko pleads, moving towards her, but Sokka is on him before he can take another step.  
"Stay away from her!" The Watertribesmen yells, holding the tip of his sword to Zuko's chest, the bender leaning back to avoid the blade.  
Aang and Katara come running, the girl with her water whip at the ready.  
"What happened!?" Aang asked noticing and bending to down to Toph.  
"Zuko attacked us and burned Toph's feet!" Sokka yells glancing back to see his friends as Zuko starts to say something again.  
"No I didn't mean too it was..." he doesn't get to finish. His body contracted and tight suddenly and Sokka eases as he wonders what's happening to the boys face.  
Before anyone can ask the question, Katara steps in front of her brother forcing him to jump out of the way of her bending.  
The girl focuses and stares at the boy now on the floor as she uses slight movements to control him. To take over his body. To bloodbend.  
Katara feels anger pulse with her energy inside her body. The moon, while not full-still powering her bending.  
Zuko struggles to breathe and falls to his knees, his eyes the only thing he can control.

Chapter 9: Bloodbending

Rage pulses through me, I snap into awareness of the moon-its, not full tonight-but I feel it.  
I feel it inside of me. Fueling me. Calming me as my own movements control his own. I feel so powerful. In control. I'm making him suffer. Giving him what fear and agony he put us through and taking away the freedom he has become accustomed too.  
I am not afraid of him anymore.  
'He deserves this' I think. He needs this. Needs to learn.  
Every breath I take is measured and every movement sharp. For everything that has been taken from me, from what has been taken from everyone in this war.  
From Aang-I remember that day at the southern air temple, the pain, and rage that haunted his features. His power and strength reacting and putting him in control-proving to him that he is powerful.  
My own anger and pain granting me this strength now-as I look down at this person who seems to be the source of everything. The person who has chased us all over the world, turned on me when he had gained my trust and it was people like him that took my mother from me. I watch his face waiting for him to feel everything I felt that day. Small and helpless.  
But then I see his eyes.  
Wide with panic. My trance falters slightly, I lose my grip on him as my connection to the moon is shaken, clouded by my own thoughts. I feel his pulse and heart bursting and breaking, trying to keep functioning. Fighting me-but still fighting him. I can almost feel the pain zipping through every muscle in his body as he twitches and contracts. Only able to move his eyes he looks at me. He cries and begs with them.  
All of the suffering coming through them. He's trying to plead to me to stop. But he isn't in control here and he needs to know that.  
I breathe, I knew he couldn't be trusted-ever since that day in Ba Sin Sa, I will not let my kindness blind me of his evil again.  
But I hear something, my name. It breaks through my focus and I look at Aang, that boy in the iceberg. His eyes wide and pleading. Everything he has lost and still that boy in the iceberg in my eyes.  
That face-innocent and playful and then scared and pleading-it breaks my control.  
I look to the boy on the ground across from me, retching in pain and crying.  
He's trying to say something- he's begging for mercy.  
I take a struggled breath as tears I didn't know were there keep falling, I stare at the boy's face. Contorted and in pain, his shallow breaths and quiet pleas of apologies.  
I step back angry-angry at myself and angry at him for making me feel this way!  
For making me feel so helpless after that surge of power-for giving me that surge of power at all.  
For getting me to blood-bend! My eyes widen as the realization comes, and I turn to take in the faces of my friends. Concern and fear in their features.  
And Aang, his smile replaced with despair and pain.  
'No!' I think. 'No, what have I done!?'  
I take a step back, and run.  
I hear them calling after me, Aang following me. No! No, I need to be alone.  
I throw a wall of ice between us, blocking his view as I turn and run away. I need to be alone. I can't take that look in his eyes, it makes me feel so powerless and scared of my own powers.  
I haven't felt this way since the first time I blood-bent.  
And I just did it again...

Chapter 10: All control has been lost

My whole body twitches and blanks out of control. It's fighting against me as Katara moves the blood within me, controlling my every move. Taking over every cell and muscle in my body. Distorting me from the outside.  
My limbs entangled amongst each other and my neck contorted at an awkward angle. I want to beg her to stop. I want to cry and plead for forgiveness for lashing out. That it was an accident. But I can't even speak. Only gurgling sounds come out as I feel an urge to cough out my organs whole and fear that she might make me.  
I stare at her. My eyes moving as they water and wince from the pain. I want so badly for this to be over. I'm crying and sobbing except the sounds don't come out. My lungs burn and I feel like I'm having a heart attack. It feels like when my father sent lightning through me. But at that time I had surprised him by taking it over and flowing it through my body. But Katara is pushing and pulling my blood as she would water. It strains me physically and emotionally. I make as many grunts and groans of pain and fear as I can. Just hoping she'll hear beyond them at how much it hurts. But she seems to relish in my panic and my eyes lock into hers.  
I widen my eyes in desperation and pain. Please I want to beg her. Please. I think. I'll do whatever you say. Just please stop...  
And then her grip loosens, and then she lets go.  
I fall to the ground. I feel lightheaded and every muscle hurts.  
I crumple in on myself. My lungs pull in air in short desperate gasps and my heart overexerts itself trying to regain circulation.  
Meanwhile, Katara stands over me watching a combination of shock and horror on her face. It feels like forever.  
Please just let me be alone now. Just leave me in my cell. Please I won't do it again, I'm sorry.  
I can tell the words only come out in gasps, my body in shock from whatever just happened to it.  
Katara looks at me, her emotions unrecognizable to me on her face. Then she runs.  
The avatar sprouts the rock wall back up into its place, the darkness now hiding my trembling form and petty cries.  
'What a failure you are Zuko, you can't do anything right! How do you expect anyone to trust you! You are weak-and a traitor to your family. To your nation, everyone! Such a disgrace! '  
The words echo in my head and I can't match all the words to the voices. Some of them I've never heard before, some are my father or Azula and some are even me..  
I fold in on my self, I don't know what I want or who I am anymore...I need you Uncle!  
Uncle...  
'I'm so sorry Uncle Iroh'


	2. Part Two

Chapter 11: The Force of Fear

Katara found herself practicing her waterbending in rage, hitting the earth with her strikes of ice until she grew out of breath. 

Then she stopped and fought the tears in her eyes, falling to the ground as she struggled to find the real her and the person the war had made her. 

She had been innocent once too, but then they raided her tribe. She had been too helpless to do anything, but her mother....

Her mother hadn't been helpless, she had protected her without any bending or weapons or back up. 

She had saved her. 

How could it be she sat there now crying, feeling so weak and helpless when her mother had held her head high and strong. 

Her mother hadn't been scared, or maybe she had been. If only she could have known, if her mother had of had time to tell her how to be brave and strong, maybe she wouldn't feel so broken now.

Katara tried to pull herself together, took harsh deep breathes and reached for the necklace around her neck. 

The necklace that had been lost and found again, stolen and taken back. Her mother's life much the same, it having been stolen from her and but left Katara without a way to take it back. 

It was wrong and unfair, how her mother had been killed so her daughter could live. It was wrong how broken she felt when she knew her mother would tell her she wasn't broken. That she was not a monster for feeling anger and hurt. That she was powerful beyond what her bending could allow her to do.

But her mother wasn't there, she wasn't telling Katara these things...she was telling herself.

Gram-Gram said she was so much like her mother. Her father looked at her with eyes that poured pride and love.

Her mother's small and sad smile she had given her to tell her it was alright on that fateful day. 

She found herself making the same smile as she looked down to her reflection in a small puddle beside her. 

But it was her mother she saw looking back at her and looked away rash fully before peeking her eyes open again to see herself and her mother. Both of them sharing the same face. The same sad and encouraging smile.

It had been worn by both of them many times. It had become Katara's after she lost her mom, often grieving with her brother, taking on all the responsibilities and comforting Aang all those times she had seen him struggle. 

The time Sokka said he saw her face instead of their mother's, unaware of his sister's present ears. 

She couldn't be broken. Because this war had hurt so many people, it had hurt her, but yet it still wasn't won. 

Katara could not bring her mother back, but maybe she didn't need too. Maybe she had always been there giving her that smile when she gave it to everyone else. 

She understood now how her mother had felt. How she had been brave but felt so scared on the inside. Katara felt her mother's strength and love within herself but also felt with it-the pain and sadness.

The war had taken from her, made her into who she was. She was angry and scared and finally understood how her mother had felt. 

So helpless but so determined to be strong. 

Gently Katara moved the tiny puddle back and forth creating peaceful waves, Zuko had made her angry and forced herself to see the darkness and power within her bending. How her bending could make her feel like a monster. 

But she was stronger than her bending. She was stronger than that monster. 

She was stronger than them all. Even the ones in the fire nation.

That didn't make her less afraid but gave her courage.

Chapter 12: Of hopeless romance and remaining hope

Aang returns having chased after Katara, wanting to comfort her and to ease the tension of his own thoughts. She had made it clear she needed to be alone, and Aang needed to collect himself more before speaking with her. Unsure of how he felt with the situation. 

As he approached Sokka carrying Toph through the temple, he speaks softly "I think she uhh..I think she needs some time alone."

The sad silence weighs heavily on them as they return to the fountain to soak and cool Toph's burnt feet.

"Aww that feels better"

"That was.....scary" Aang said. 

Sokka shook his head slightly, "I've never seen her so angry like that. She's always been so calm and clear-minded. Even when our mom died she took on the roles she left in our family. And bloodbending-she, she never wanted to have that kind of power again...But now I don't know whats going on....?"

"What happened back there-that wasn't Katara." Toph said and both boys looked at her pointedly. "I mean it was her....but it wasn't. I don't know what I felt, but I felt something change-like when I can tell someone is lying-I could feel this....I don't know."

She shook her head, Aang turned and looked towards the air temples inner pathways. "I should go check on Zuko-Katara wouldn't have hurt him too badly, I know she wouldn't-and I still need to talk to him." 

"He just threw fire at me and Toph, Aang, when we tried to give him food! I say give it some time for everyone to recover. And we need to find Katara, if I know my sister I know she is pretty upset right now too.." Sokka lectured. 

"I'm fine Sokka.." Katara's voice interrupted from behind. "I needed some time alone. I lost control of myself and my anger and got scared of...of something...but I've cleared my head now. Found my strength again." 

The three others stared at her with concerning eyes, "It's just Katara I've never seen you lose control like that....are you okay.....?" Aang spoke softly Katara shook her head, "I still need some time to figure out exactly what happened but I felt like my bending and anger was out of control...." the sentence quieted off and Katara approached Toph's feet. "It's going to take some time for your feet to get better...I shouldn't have run off like that. I'm sorry. And I'm really sorry that you guys had to see me like that-I promise it's not going to happen again."

"But Sokka is right Aang, you shouldn't go talk with Zuko quite yet." She paused "First I need to see him. Alone."

Chapter 13: Concerning eyes and questioned why

"Katara are you sure that's a good idea after what just happened? I mean what if...." Sokka starts. 

"I need to apologize Sokka. I never should have done that to him. I took out the anger I've had for a long time and let it out on him. It's my responsibility to make sure he's okay. Don't get me wrong I don't trust him-especially after he burnt Toph's feet-but he and I both need to set sound ground rules if this is going to work."

Katara's tone had rendered all arguments pointless and Aang agreed to open the door for her to speak with Zuko then wait around the corner while they talked.

As they walked through, Aang grabbed Katara's shoulder and turned her around..."Katara, remember that time we went to the Southern Air Temple and I realized what had happened to all the air benders? You told me it was scary to see me that angry. That upset. Well, that's what I felt like when you got upset earlier. Like I couldn't do anything to make it better...you promise your Okay?" 

Katara gave him a small smile, that day along with many others were remembered well. As well as that feeling and it saddened her to know that she had put Aang in the same position. "I know Aang, I'm okay and I promise you won't have to see me like that ever again." 

"Well Katara I'm always here if you want to talk..." he offered as they began moving again. 

Katara gave him a kind smile, "Thanks Aang."


	3. Failures and Found Fate

The darkness swallowed everything up and the hard earth beneath him seemed to ground him. As the twitching resided and muscles reluctantly stretched out at their own will again, Zuko pulled himself towards the wall and used its presence to hold himself upright. Had anyone been able to see, they would have seen the young man cry and shake until all emotion left in him dissolve and left nothing more than numb sensations of pain. 

But Zuko just let his mind go blank for the moment, he needed to reconnect himself. When he finally worked thoughts back into his mind, the first one was "what just happened to me?" he spoke unaware it wasn't internal thought. Hesitantly, Zuko brought up a spark to his palm. Relieved to know that his bending hadn't been interfered with, at least not permanently, and gave silent thanks-though to who he wasn't sure.

With his awareness came back the memory-the flame he had shot out, the screams-and then the intrusive feeling of something unnatural yet natural all the same controlling his body against his mind. A strange feeling crept into him, not anger for his own impulsiveness or for the painful experience he was just put through, it wasn't pain, or sadness even, either it was a feeling of justice. He had been thinking about how to make it up to them, all the pain he had put them through. How to get them to give him a second chance-he hoped somehow that this had been retribution and now it was over. But a part of him still said no, and his lungs released a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding in and felt the burn in his lungs. 

That familiar heat in his chest somehow soothed him as it had over his many tries at meditation. However, those times each struggled with focus and intent while this time Zuko felt himself fall into sleep.

When he stirred again, his joints cracked as he sat up and stretched. Noting the fact that at least his wrists were not restrained anymore, whether that was a gift of guilt or an overlook from the moment, it was a comfort to instruct his own limbs. 

It was this distraction that had kept Zuko from noticing the light shining in on him, and the guest sitting the door. The girl looked up to him with confidence, but sorrow-filled blue eyes and in true genuinely "I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry" she repeated. "I didn't want to lose control like that, I shouldn't have. I never want to do that to anybody ever again, I had promised myself I wouldn't...but when you showed up here-something caught me up, not even just in anger, but sadness and fear. This war has put us all through a lot, and..." she paused "I shouldn't have taken that out on you like that. Even if you've done horrible things in the past, even if you're to blame for so much of my pain, I shouldn't put it all on you. I don't trust you, but I apologize for taking everything out on you. I need to learn to keep better control of my bending, I need to remember I am more than my physical strength…" 

"That makes the two of us.." Zuko spoke as she stood up to leave, causing her to stop and turn her head towards him as she questioned his words. "What?" she asked unsure of his words. 

"I know what you mean, needing to take control. I didn't mean to hurt your friend, I acted out of instant...out of panic" he added. "Fire is dangerous and wild and so is a fire bender and it is only recently that I have come to realize that my actions as a bender-and a warrior-are not more important than self-control and I am still working on that. So I understand your need to lash out and understand your desire for control...I've had those things for a long while; even if I didn't have a name for them." He finished and stared at Katara's shadow and the back of the wall.

"We aren't the same." Katara said firmly, more to assure herself than to argue, but Zuko knew her point all the same. 

"I don't mean to say we are, but I just mean that in some ways we aren't all that different."  
"Maybe not" she said still lingering in the doorway. "But that doesn't change the fact that I'll never trust You!" Leaving once again.


	4. Memories and Metamorphosis

Chapter fifteen: Memories and Metamorphosis

She wouldn't trust him. He knew that. Yet he was here to somehow earn their forgiveness? Was that possible if she would never trust him? 

Hunger still hung in his stomach, his meal having been disrupted by his own stupidity. He had shot fire at them. They probably wouldn't bother to feed him again for a while after that. But not long after Katara had turned away, leaving with a thought on her face and the doorway still open, Zuko had assumed she was getting someone to close him in again. 

But instead of a rock wall sprouting from the ground, he had the Airbender land lightly in front of him. His staff in hand, probably unsure as to whether to expect a fight or not. Overcoming the initial shock, Zuko reacted in the best way he could. Showing respect, kneeling and bowing his head as done in the Fire Nation, 

"Avatar." The words came out roughly and quickly as he hurried to make up for his hesitance. 

"No Zuko, please, call me Aang. And I just want to talk." The younger boy spoke, his voice calm and soft as he stepped towards Zuko.

Looking wearily towards the wall at this, Zuko answered: "Of course, what..uh..what did you want to talk about?" Unsure what casual conversation could be had between them. "Well, I had questions really." Aang sat across from him with his legs crossed. "If you wouldn't mind answering them?" "Yes! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" eager to do something to earn trust or the Avatar's good graces. "Nothing big, but first I wanted to apologize." "You have nothing to apologize for for.." Zuko interrupted him.  
"No, I do, I'm sorry for the way things have gone. And I know Katara just spoke to you, but I wanted to ask you to forgive her. She wouldn't normally have done that, but know that she has she seems a little more focused again. I just feel guilty that you had to be the one on the receiving end of her emotions." the boy paused. "Are you okay by the way? I know its really weird."  
Shaking his head in slight confusion, Zuko spoke "I'm okay, but can I ask, can I ask what that was? What she did to me?" the Airbender's face grew solemn and looked away, as if he too were ashamed for his friend's actions against the former prince. "It's called bloodbending. I couldn't tell you much more than that it's manipulating the water in someone's body." 

Silence hung for a moment before Aang finally asked what he had wanted to know. "Zuko, where's your Uncle?"  
"I don't know...I went to break him out of jail when I left the fire nation and beg for his forgiveness but he was already gone. He broke himself out." A look of confusion and amazement covered the boy's face as he thought of the memory. Tears began falling in his eyes again, and they couldn't be stopped. "He did everything for me, and I betrayed him. Stabbed him in the back, and now I don't know if I'll ever be able to ask for his forgiveness."

Aang watched the boy across from him with unsure empathy. "I think your uncle would be proud of you Zuko." The words came out confident and assured. "You made mistakes, but you're trying to fix them. That means something. And I think that he would be proud of that." 

"Another question," Aang prompted once the last one grew quiet. "I heard what you said to Katara, about not being so different? You said you knew what it felt like to be angry and lost? What did you mean by that?" 

Zuko took a breathe as he made a point to sit up straighter, "For a long time, I thought that what I wanted was to accepted by my father. He sent me to capture you for the fire nation, and by doing so regaining my honor. I believed that it would solve my problems, it would earn me the acceptance and love I wanted from my father. But I went back, having your downfall praised to my name, and I got all of what I thought I wanted. But it still, it wasn't right. For years I've been learning who I am meant to be. Seen everything that this war has done to the world. How many people it has hurt. But when I went back, it felt wrong to ignore everything. I couldn't just sit there and do nothing about it anymore. I realized that all of my anger didn't go away and that if I wanted to find peace within myself, then I was going to have to accept myself and not wait for it from my father."  
Another deep breath. "So that's what I meant, I know what it feels like to be angry and hurt, but not knowing why or who I was angry at. I think that's what happened with Katara."

The words sunk into Aang, and he thought back to the time he attempted to open up his chakras. The levels of acceptance he had to make for each emotion he felt. How he wasn't able to let go of the last one. Of his friends. "I think I understand." The words were heavy on his mind as Zuko made eye contact with him. 

"That's why I'm here. I want to make it right. I know you won't forgive or trust me easily. But I hope that you'll at least let me try." 

Aang considered for a moment if he could forgive Zuko if maybe he already had. He wasn't angry at Zuko, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to accept him just yet. He wanted too, but the last year had taught him to be cautious. Plus he knew his friends likely didn't feel the same. "I'd like that to Zuko. I'd like it if we could be friends." The sentiment was true, and a slight smile was exchanged as Aang stood up. "It's getting late, I should head back to the others. You'll be okay for the night?" 

Zuko nodded, feeling warmer than he had before. He had to admit that something about the avatar was comforting. His presence itself somehow bringing peace.

As Aang turned to leave and walked through the door he halted as he remembered something. "Oh yeah! I thought you might like to have this," he said as he laid the portrait down carefully, giving a final nod as he constructed the wall again, this time leaving a small gap towards the top for light and air.

Zuko came forward to admire the picture. His uncle seeming to look back at him. Inexpressibly grateful to have the keepsake with him again.


	5. The Boom Boom and the boomerang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So clearly this fic has kind of ran out...this was one of my first attempts at writing fanfiction and in the past two years, which is when I began this particular story, I've lost inspiration for it. It's not that I don't have the plot to keep going with this story, I've had it since day one but I no longer feel the energy it once did. So this random update is certainly an anti-climatic close to something that is not done. And perhaps I will find joy in writing it again in the future. But as it is this story can be considered discontinued. I am open to another writer taking over and continuing/completing or editing the story, so if anyone wishes to adopt it please just let me know.   
> Thank you, readers!  
> ~Geekglassesgirl

Chapter sixteen

Everything feels off in the morning, an uneasiness rested on everyone's shoulders as the practiced their daily routines. Maybe it was the fact that no one had thought to collect wood for the fire so breakfast had been late, or maybe it was the way Mo Mo lounge sorrowfully in the sun, without his normal energy. Or maybe it was the fact they had a firebender locked away in a room in the air temple.

Before bringing their prisoner breakfast this morning, the group had agreed on what belongings could be returned to Zuko, and caution was taken as Aang and Sokka delivered both the former-prince (as he said he had been disowned) his bowl of mush and his single change of clothes. There was no fire this time and the boy had regarded them with a silent nod of thanks as they left him on his own-babysitting the angry firebender appealed to no one. Especially after the events of the previous day.

Katara tended to Toph's feet once more as Aang meditated and Sokka swung his sword around. The strange peacefulness of the day wore on as Katara began their waterbending practices of easy breathing and calm control of water. The group didn't notice their viewer until a large explosion went off behind their backs.

"I told you Zuko was lying! He came here to distract up so Combustion man could get a sneak attack on us!" Sokka accused the firebender while he wasn't present to defend himself.

Toph turned her head towards Sokka's voice, about to speak up in their captures defense before Aang intervened "hey guys, maybe we can argue over this after we take care of Sparky boom boom?" Another blast shuddered through the ground and made them wobbly on their feet. 

"He's going to take this whole place right off the cliffside!" Toph alerted when she felt the intensity of the vibrations in the earth. 

Katara and Aang sent waves of attacks from their hiding spot, the shots of fire continued coming from the man somewhere on the cliff. "I can't get an angle on him from behind here! And I can't move or without getting blown up!" 

Sokka looked thoughtful for a moment! "I know how to get an angle on him!!" He said before moving to stand against the pillar, his boomerang in hand and one eye closed as he followed the direction of the attacks. 

"Here goes nothing," Sokka said as he let his weapon fly from his grip and waited for its return.

 

Chapter seventeen

The early morning sun had awoken Zuko from his rest, despite the lack of light his inner fire grew as the sun raised ion the sky. A nights rest relaxed me some as I practiced my morning breathing exercises and poses as Uncle had always taught me. The photo of the man he held in high regard watching his practice approvingly while simultaneously weighed me down in guilt.


End file.
